When we grow older, we tend to repeat things more, especially stories and questions. Repetition can get frustrating quite quickly, even for the most patient and experienced caregivers.
While this is part and parcel of aging, here are some tips to handle repetition in a way that reduces your frustration and to help your loved ones keep their dignity.
Changing Perspectives
Aging causes our view of life to shift. We tend to spend time thinking about the past, and about what we will leave behind in the world. The elderly might have a different perspective of life, given the number of years they have lived.
They might use old stories and memories as a way to reflect on the past. They may also enjoy sharing stories with their younger relatives, to find meaning from their experiences. It’s also a way for generations to pass down their experiences and wisdom.
Even when you want to retort that you’ve heard the stories before, let them finish their tale. It could be what they need to derive meaning from life.
Understanding why they repeat stories will make us more sympathetic. Just because they repeat their ramblings doesn’t necessarily mean they have dementia either.
Be More Understanding
Repeating stories and questions is indeed common in people with Alzheimer’s or dementia. This usually is compounded by their need to seek comfort from familiarity.
Due to short-term memory loss from Alzheimer’s or dementia, they might not remember what they’ve said and end up repeating it many times. In cases like this, we need to remember that they’re not doing it on purpose to annoy us.
Much like children who repeat things to understand and remember new details, individuals with dementia might be doing the same. We might unconsciously think it’s unbefitting of them who are supposed to be more experienced and wiser. Unfortunately, this is the reality for dementia patients, so it would greatly benefit them if caregivers are able to be more sympathetic and patient.
Validate Their Feelings
People with dementia may sometimes react negatively, and become fearful, paranoid, depressed, angry, or violent. It’s hard to handle, but validation is one method of dealing with the situation without escalating into negative emotions. Instead of telling them that their sense of reality is wrong or twisted, caregivers can acknowledge their version and calm them, without dismissing them.
Disrupt Repeated Thoughts
Change the subject of conversation if needed, to stop the repetition cycle. Use something to grab their attention and shift it away.
Redirect Attention
Use a different activity to break up the repetition, especially one that can fully engage older folks. Play some music, flip through photo albums, watch movies or TV shows – these are all activities to redirect their attention. Especially with photo albums, get your loved ones to tell the story behind each photo.
Inhale and Exhale
Take a deep breath whenever things get too tense. It can be overwhelming but remind yourself that the efforts go towards keeping your loved ones engaged.
